NEW SONG: i'm not sure why you love me

“It is embarrassing to be witnessed in the messy, solitary work of self acceptance. Through intimate lyricism and lush, textured orchestration, Clara Baker’s new single, “I’m not sure why you love me” paints a vivid portrait of this human experience

“I stay in the bath til the water drains dry,” Baker sings through a voice filtered and othered, before we hear the stagnant admission repeated again with more presence. It’s a false start, but we’re going to embrace it. In fact, perhaps that’s the point here.

The song’s many vocal tracks, layered and echoing throughout, have an hallucinatory effect, and allows the refrain, “I’m not sure why you love me,” to hang as a question the narrator poses to themself, as if looking in the bathroom mirror. Reverberating in this soundscape is a stuttering drum kit and percussion of glass and metal objects. There is a delay on the snare that makes the drums feel like they’re knocking – the incessant knocking of intrusive thoughts, or a futile attempt to disrupt this inertia.

Tension feels like the guiding ethos of the arrangement. Instead of resolving or crescendoing like a pop song might, the precarious orchestration feels like it devolves through the course of the song, until the final moments when the tempo can no longer hold, and as instruments fall away, we are left with only the sound of clanging items circling a drain; broken remnants of something that was once vibrant and whole.

While the origins of this song started in 2020 amidst a deep bout of depression and anxiety for Baker, it feels alive and present right now, four years later. Time and gained wisdom come through in Baker’s production work with each thoughtful, intentional, and playful element – a sonic resolve achieved through experience and self-reflection. But part of this song’s impact is its lack of answers. The lyric lingers decidedly in the unsettled.

This song is an intimate peek into the dark, uncomfortable part of someone’s journey, and a monument to their personal growth once they emerge on the other side. It is a thrill that Baker allows us to witness her in this song, embarrassment be damned.”

-Thu Tran

i’m not sure why you love me

Released January 26, 2024
Recorded at Dead Aunt Thelma's, The Rye Room, and The Bakery (Clara’s home studio)

Clara Baker: Producer/ engineer, Steinway grand piano, Casio ToneBank keyboard, violins, electric guitar, prepared guitar, Yamaha CP Reface Keyboard, drum programming, vocals
Sacha Müller: Drums, percussion, found sounds, and additional recording
Gus Berry: Mixing
Amy Dragon: Mastering